#9 The Start
This is day one. Day one seems a bit more peaceful to me even though I got a bad nights sleep. I just couldn’t rest. We are just sitting around. No agenda. No hurry. I have to continue to resist to make a specific plan. I want to so bad. There are some fixed times tomorrow we have to pay attention to, but today is one of those days where we don’t have to do anything. Our Air B&B hosts invited us to a little BBQ on the deck to have hot dogs and beer. So nice.
We walked to the grocery store last night so we could eat veggies. Avocado toast is on the breakfast menu after a quick core workout. Later we are going into town to find a juice bar and just hang out and read a little. Then a nice dinner tonight.
Lora and I talked about my emotions this morning. Processing them with a great woman is helpful. Certain responses are so hard wired into my brain. Today I am going to get started with some brain rewriting. The 21 day brain detox starts today. It seems easier to operate today now that sabbatical has officially started. I am not as antsy. Spending time with Jesus, being quiet, not being rushed to do something and get somewhere is nice too. It allows me to release toxic stuff.
I am writing this journal, which some posts will be unedited and raw, to myself, to God, to others. To me so I can work this out. So I can process. I process best writing. (I hated it in school) I want to write to God so we have a thorough and thoughtful conversation about me, God and life. My hope of being renewed to something so much closer to His dream for me. I am letting readers come along because I want this to be useful to any readers. We all need renewal. Even my very godly and wise father-in-law said one time to me, “I thought I would be done learning these lessons at my age. I guess I haven’t learned them yet.” I will never forget that conversation. It gives me hope. He is such a great man and still... Me too pops. Me too.