#22 Half Way
We are half way through and I can’t believe it. It seems like I have been off work forever, but it also seems like it has flown by. Those two are mutually exclusive in theory, but I think what I still suffer with is the thought that I haven’t used my 3 1/2 weeks well enough. That is the part that makes it seem like it is going fast. Really, I haven’t used it well enough? What that translates to is that I haven’t done enough. Not enough has been accomplished. That is so dumb! I am not supposed to get things accomplished except not accomplishing things. Uggg!
There are things that I want to do like catching up on the Bible plan reading and reading books. I haven’t done that with those. In fact, as I write and think about the dozen books I want to read, I think, what is wrong with you? Production can’t be a part of this time. Enjoyment can. Rejuvenation can. Anything else is secondary or non existent. So how do I switch from production to enjoyment? This is a good question that I am going to think about today and for the next 3 1/2 weeks. I have got to turn off production a day a week for the rest of my life. One day each week. Like a switch. Like when someone cuts you off and you are instantly angry. Like that smile that comes on your face when someone hands you $1000. Switch. I can do it. I can do what I want to do. I am in control. I am super powered by God’s Spirit. Nothing is impossible for Him and therefore for me.
Today I wil concentrate on enjoyment. No deadlines. No production. Just desires to read. In my mind I know that desires don’t work without discipline. However, I have got to switch off the discipline for this season, for 3 1/2 weeks. That sounds so wrong, but this is my season. (I guess I have to discipline myself to rejuvenate. Sabbath). I believe I can feel the excitement of reading welling up inside of me right now. I like it. So bring on the next half. Desert, family, fun, games, Hawaii, adventure, solitude and little boredom and especially rest and rejuvenation.