• Terry Miller

#18 Wrapping it Up on The Island

We have had such a great time at Couples although I wish I would have done Swept Away first and Tower Isle second. I was too busy at Swept Away. Still, it was great. Having to deal with the athletic director who was a bit terse and unfriendly was helpful for me to again deal with internal issues. It all goes back to where do I get my worth. I have been so unaware of how out of line I have been. It is great to see it and bring correction to it. It’s funny when concentrate on something deep inside of you, you start to connect many other things to it. Lora and I went sailing a few times. The last day we sailed to an island about 2-3 miles from the resort. Right when we set foot on the island the guys from water sports showed up and said I couldn’t take the sailboat out that far. So we sailed back right away. They followed us about half way to make sure we would come back. I was emabarressed and a little humiliated. Then I thought, “why?” Why did I feel any negative feelings? Did I want the guys to like me? Did I think others would know they had to come get me? The one thing I do know is that my reaction was incorrect. My feelings were wrong. Nobody told us we couldn’t go there. In fact, during our lesson he pointed out sailing to the island and then sailing back. There are things that I think and feel that are not right and I think they all relate back to my value. Am I enough? It is exciting to be working on this and reprogramming my brain and actually presently changing my brains physiological make up. It will be good to get rid of those feelings. It is like my wife said about the athletic director, she is the one with the problem, not you. So true. My feelings will one day align with that thinking that is correct. One good thing is that I actually started feeling bad for her by mid week. She has been hurt by someone or many people. Me, I have Jesus. I am enough for Him. I don’t have to be perfect. I get to improve. I get time to improve.

I am still amazed and blown away that I have 5 weeks left. Now though, I am really looking forward to it. Something has shifted. I still feel a little guilty from time to time to get so much time off and travel such amazing places, but I have settled into it and am more thankful and have a wonderful anticipation. Being in Jamaica for 2 weeks was good. Really good. Having to go home was not regretful. I want to. I think after 1 week you are so bummed to leave, but Lora and I both feel like we have been there a long while. We love having meals made for us and being waited on, but both of us are ready to move forward with our sabbatical. Plus, we really miss our kids and grandkids. I don’t know how we would have made it without FaceTime.

I have some golf to look forward to and maybe a surf session before we get to spend time with many of our family in the desert. That sounds so good! Since we have had so much time to think and talk, (we are about out of things to talk about - so we kiss more) we came up with theme nights for every dinner.

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